keep your bean, we're after the cup.

After the whole controversy with the idiot who made the Toronto Strong sign, some dumbass made shirts with "Toronto Stronger" ?! Sir, has your head been up your ass?! Do you not realize you just pissed off the wrong city?! No, seriously I'm confused. I'm not even going to get into how rude and insensitive that is.  I'm sure you'll soon realize what a dick you are for doing that.  

You are about as creative as a wet noodle.  Could you not think of something original to say about your own city? Terrible.  Two things pop in my head when I think of Chicago: Oprah and wind.
And Chicago stronger? C'mon. You have a huge structure of a bean- we have Paul F'in Revere.

Keep your bean, we're after the cup.

honorary degrees? I didn't even get Cs

I. am. confused. Why do I keep hearing about celebs getting honorary degrees? From schools they didn't even attend? They are the ones who can afford these fancy schools but they are getting a degree for free and for no work? What the what?!

As always Oprah had to do it up big. She got honorary degrees from Howard University, Duke and Harvard.  And not for nothing but her Harvard degree is a Doctor of Laws degree. What?!

Kermit the frog even has an honorary degree.  He's not even real.  He's a goddamn puppet.  He has a hand up his ass and he got a degree.  It's true.  Bing it.  Google it.

I went to UMass Lowell, and all I got was a bad kidney and a shit load of debt.